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Family and relationship problems
The majority of people will experience some problems or issues within their family at some point during their life. The type and causes of problems may change as you get older. Ill health, disability and retirement can all bring their own worries and concerns. In this section we have provided information on some family problems along with details of organisations that may be able to offer you advice and support.
Abuse
Abuse can happen to anyone and it can take many different forms. Financial abuse, sexual abuse, emotional and verbal abuse, physical abuse (also referred to as domestic violence), and neglect are all ways in which a person can suffer in an abusive relationship. The abuse may take place within the family, or it may be a carer, friend, or anyone else who comes into contact with you and your family.
If you are worried about someone who may be suffering abuse, or if you are experiencing this yourself, there are people who can help you. See our sections on Adult abuse and Personal safety for details of where you can go for help and advice.
Addictions
If you or someone in your family suffers from an addiction it can be an extremely difficult situation to live with. Alcohol or drug dependency, or an addiction to gambling, can cause huge problems for everyone involved. Finances, health and relationships may all suffer as a result of the addiction.
There are many organisations that can help if you, a family member or a friend is affected by any of these issues. See our section on Addictions for further information and advice.
Bereavement
Bereavement is something which happens to almost everyone at some stage in their lives. The death of someone close to you, whether it was expected or sudden, can be an extremely difficult time, and you will experience many different emotions. If your partner dies you may find that even after the initial grieving process you are still finding it difficult to cope with things such as living on your own and dealing with finances. Our section on Bereavement may help you through the stages of your loss.
If your bereavement has left you feeling lonely or isolated, the following sections may give you some ideas about ways in which to meet new people and make good use of your time:
Fitness
Hobbies
Holidays
Lifelong learning
Pets
Volunteering
A bereavement may lead to disputes in some families around issues such as inheritance. You may find it useful to read our section on Wills for details of where to get advice.
Debt
Debt can be a problem at any age, but you may find that as you get older you struggle to manage on the income that you have. There are many factors that can lead to debt problems, including retirement, illness, disability, divorce and bereavement. Inadequate pension provision can also lead some older people to use credit for essential household goods, resulting in debts with high interest repayments.
If you or a member of your family are affected by debt problems, there are organisations that can offer help and support. See our section on Debt for further information and advice.
Health
If you, your partner, or another family member suffer from a significant health problem, this can have a major impact on your relationship. A physical disability or mental health problem such as depression or anxiety can be extremely distressing and demanding if they affect someone you love. If you are suffering from a health problem yourself, you may be finding it difficult to cope and need to rely on your family to help you. See our Health section for information about various health issues and where you can go for advice. You may also find it useful to visit our section on Looking after someone.
Looking after someone
Caring for someone can be very stressful, and even more so as you get older. It may be that you have always cared for a disabled family member, or it could be that you have only taken on a caring role more recently. Ill health or disability may mean that your partner or parent now requires physical care or supervision. Alzheimer’s disease and dementia are common health problems in later life and can be especially difficult to cope with.
Caring responsibilities can be exhausting and can have an effect on your own physical and mental health. However, there is help and support available for anyone who is caring for another person, and you can read about this in our section on Looking after someone. The website Elderlyparents.org may also be helpful to you if you are looking after your parents.
Retirement
Retiring from work is something which most people will have considered very carefully before making the decision. Retirement can be an exciting new phase in your life, especially if you are in good health and financially secure. Age UK’s guide Planning your retirement income may be helpful in giving advice about your finances.
Many people can experience problems at this important stage in their lives. Spending more time at home can cause tensions between couples. You may also find that you feel socially isolated now that you no longer have work colleagues to talk to during the day and your week has less structure. These feelings are perfectly normal and you can take steps to resolve them. Our section on Leisure has lots of ideas on how to fill your new-found leisure time.
Getting help
Mediation
Family mediation is a way of resolving disputes after separation or divorce. In mediation, couples are helped to look for their own solutions to their disputes. Family mediation is also increasingly being used to solve other types of family problems, such as:
- disputes between a parent and child
- disagreements over care for elderly or seriously ill relatives
- grandparents contact with grandchildren
- homelessness caused by family arguments
Both parties explain their concerns and needs to each other in the presence of a qualified family mediator. The mediator is impartial, which means that they are not on anyone's side. They are there to help both parties, unlike a solicitor who only works for one party in each case. Sometimes the mediator will suggest a way of solving a problem to help to reach an agreement acceptable to both parties, but they will never tell either party what to do.
The mediator can give information about law but cannot give anyone advice about what to do. You should go to see a solicitor if you need legal advice. The solicitor can help you before, in between sessions and when agreement has been reached, so that you know that whatever has been agreed is fair to you.
To find a Family Mediation Service near you, visit the Ministry of Justice website and search using your postcode.
Other support
Newcastle Talking Therapies offers a range of talking therapies, advice, information and support. Talking therapies are effective in helping people with problems such as depression, anxiety, stress, anger, fears, bereavement and relationship difficulties. Contact them for further information on telephone number 0300 555 1115, or email admin.ntt@nhs.net.
Other useful information
Information section on Grandparent issues
Article last updated January 16, 2012 8:50 pm
